Here We Go

I should have been keeping a journal for the past year.  Chronicling my struggle with anxiety, my daily life, etc. So, I'm starting here, today.

Nothing too inspiring or important to write today, as I just wrote a bit elsewhere about my journey with anxiety and how it started.

Today is a Thursday.  I managed to get all of the kids to school easily, I even talked with S's teacher for quite a bit this morning, which is huge for me.  I'm trying to remain hopeful that the med increase will help and will work.  I just switched off of Paxil to Zoloft and upped the Zoloft this week. Fingers crossed.  My mom will come by later this morning and go with me to pick up S from school, so maybe that's why I feel a bit more relaxed.  Knowing I don't have to face that alone today...I'm not sure.

I have a therapy appointment for next Tuesday. The first one since January.  It's been a strange break due to his scheduling issues and my availability. But I'm determined to get there.  I'm thankful for meds, and I do hope they really work, but I KNOW that I have to do the hard work of digging into my mind and finding out the hows/whys this happened and how to try to fix it. I don't know that I'll ever be able to fix things, to put the vase back together without a visible crack is slightly improbable, but I'm hopeful.

I'm working on self care again too of course.  trying to exercise every day.  For a lot of reasons, but mainly my mental health and an attempt to lose the 22 pounds I gained while on Paxil.  Slow and steady.